This note is written specifically to address the use of the possessive pronoun in referral to people (’my wife’, ‘my husband’, etc), and the behavior it inherently breeds in humans.

My theory is rather simple: ‘Allowing people to refer to someone as belonging to them in any way makes it subconsciously acceptable for them to treat that person as a possession.’

Thus objectifying the individual. To me this is demeaning. And I have to wonder just how far the effects of this could be reaching. Domestic violence? Crimes of passion? Overly possessive and jealous behavior?

Quite a big accusation for such an innocent turn of phrase right? Or is it? The more I think about this the more I see the effects everywhere.
In an effort to purify my life somewhat, I decided to stop referring to people this way (at least during thought). The difficulty arises when trying to find a suitable english alternative. People I have spoken to about this theory usually respond with the following:

‘If I don’t refer to him as “my husband”, how should I express it?’

I usually respond with something along the lines of ‘The man I love’. I think our language is severely lacking in what I like to call ‘the relationship indicator particle’.
An enlightened, and possibly synthetic (or emergent) language would allow for much easier use of explaining something ‘in relationship’ to yourself, rather than ‘as possessed by’. Think of all the misunderstandings that arise between men and women over the whole ‘girlfriend/boyfriend tag’, not to mention the natural feeling of entrapment that labeling yourself as a possession of another subconsciously expresses.

Thats my thought for the day. Look forward to hearing your opinions!

Karlo